I looked through my facebook Year in Review this morning for 2013, and the basic version of my resolutions stands out: “Accept and be grateful for the past which has helped to define me. Breathe and be grateful for my current status. Plan and be grateful that I am in control of which direction my future takes.”
I had one very big end in 2013, in which I said goodbye to over 10 years of my life. FYI, divorce sucks, but sometimes it is necessary.
Without it in my past, I would not be the woman I am today without that marriage behind me. I would not be the mother of two. I may not have a successful career in accounting. I may not have completely embraced polyamory.
Some days might suck because of the divorce, but when I can remember to stop and breathe, I am reminded that I will see my sons in a couple of days. When I stop and breathe, I am reminded that my chest is not as heavy as it once was, in what had become a loveless relationship. When I stop to breathe, I am reminded that I find it much easier to be true to myself, which is an important lesson to be able to teach my beautiful boys.
While I know exactly when my next tomorrow with the boys might be, I also know that in 2014 I won’t get Thanksgiving or Christmas, and that kind of sucks. But, at the same time, I have 10 months to figure out how to make my non-holiday season perfect for me and my family.
Within these goals of accepting, breathing and planning, I need to take better care of myself, and I am hopeful that the start of 2014 will be the brand new beginning that I have needed. Cliche, I know. I accept that. It isn’t all that specific, but I can plan that.
I will allow myself to be a priority in terms of my needs for meditation and exercise. I will meditate every day for at least five minutes, and I will exercise in some fashion (taking walks with my loves count as exercise and quality time… win-win) for at least 3 hours each week.
I will continue with the changes in my life that have been beneficial, such as attendance at a Unitarian Universalist church, and volunteering my time within. I plan to give time and energy to an organization known as Stuff of Stars that was started in 2013. In conjunction with the need to promote positive self-image for every individual, I want to develop some seminar outlines for the mix of my interests with healthy polyamory practices. How does spirituality impact an emotional relationship with multiple partners? How can a positive self-image be promoted within a relationship where you might be battling your own emotions about how your partner’s other significant other may have better hair, a better hourglass figure, or a fantastic smile with perfect teeth.
Here’s to making 2014 my best year yet. I have no doubt it will be.
