Weakness – A Rant

While I do not think that the person behind the message intended to get me as rampant as he did, I was really bothered with the idea that polyamory is a wise choice for relationships, because, well, humans are weak, and we tend to fall in love with multiple people anyway.

(That is not an exact quote, but it is how my mind interpreted the meanings of his words.)

To love without limit is part of my nature, and I would argue the same is true for any parent out there, and for polyamorous individuals, and for cheaters, and for social workers, and for serial monogamists, and for nurses, and for daycare providers, and, and, and… the examples of limitless love in this world goes on and on.

To say that nature is weak is like saying the ocean should be blamed for being salty instead of freshwater.

Weakness tends to lead to making the easy choice, and in that regard, polyamorists are some of the strongest people I know.

If anything, choosing to live in a monogamous structure once you have determined that you are polyamorous in nature is the weak/easy choice, to abide by society’s standards rather than accepting who you are and what you want out of life. It’s the easy choice to live in serial monogamy (one partner at a time, for various lengths, only until you find someone who is a “better fit” for you).

It is a difficult choice to choose ethical non-monogamy, where you need to be cognizant of how your actions and truth may effect your own quality of life by loosing friends, family, and perhaps loves, too.  It means you have to learn to communicate your own needs, to understand the needs of others.  It means you need to learn to schedule your time and attention so that no one falls off the radar.  It means more talk than sex.  Having sex is easy.  Having relationships is hard.

No, polyamory is not for the weak.  Neither is monogamy when you look at what it actually means… one partner for the entirety of your life.  Hell, even serial monogamy has some drawbacks, like paying spousal support, for example.

Humans are not weak.  Humans are human.  The key to success is to find the path of least resistance.  For me, my heart has a hell of a lot struggles with the idea of limiting my romantic heart to one person. To me, monogamy, even serial monogamy, is too constricting.  It’s tough to walk when you feel bound by rules you had no part in writing… so I am choosing the path less traveled, though I’ve met some fine people along the way, hacking their own path through the chaos of non-monogamy.  I can’t wait to meet others.

About SoManyHandles

30-something female, intent on living life.
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